


Date? Like the fruit?

by AnnaTheHank



Series: Three's a Crowd but Five's a Family [5]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: But he's getting better, First Dates, Gabriel is bad at parenting, M/M, Multi, movies - Freeform, t for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:00:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22902850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaTheHank/pseuds/AnnaTheHank
Summary: A.J. is going on her first date.Gabriel is chaperoning.What could possible go wrong?
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Series: Three's a Crowd but Five's a Family [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1576834
Comments: 12
Kudos: 28





	Date? Like the fruit?

**Author's Note:**

> Life has been hectic and I spend my spare time writing this instead of the 8 million other wips I have. idk what's wrong with me either 😂😂  
> (also you'll find out the history of A.J. powers later)

“Hello, favorite parental figure,” A.J. said, appearing in the doorway of the bathroom.

Crowley, who had been experimenting with a new shade of eyeliner, looked at her in the mirror, her smile smirked in a familiar fashion. “What do you want?” he asked.

A.J.’s smile fell, her face a fake expression of shock. “Can’t a girl just compliment her favorite parent for no reason?”

“Are you?”

“Well, no. But I’d like the benefit of the doubt.”

Crowley chuckled and turned around. He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. “So my question still stands.”

“I was hoping you could drive me to the movies tomorrow night?” A.J. opened her eyes wide, biting on her bottom lip slightly. A very effective maneuver.

Crowley shrugged. “Sure.”

“Great, thanks!” A.J. turned to run off but Crowley grabbed the collar of her shirt, pulling her back. 

“Ah, ah, ah,” he said. “Not so fast.”

A.J. sighed. “I knew it was too easy,” she whispered before turning back around. 

“What movie are you seeing?”

“I dunno. Some dumb, movie about school or something. Totally PG, don’t worry.”

Crowley squinted at her. 

“Okay it’s PG-13 but I’m only a few months off, surely that’s okay.”

“Who are you going with?’

“Just a friend.”

“Do I know this friend?”

“You have met this friend, yes.”

“And is this friend a boy?”

A.J. recoiled, gasping dramatically. “Pops! I never imagined you’d be the kind of guy to care about gender like that!”

Crowley laughed, shaking his head. “You know the rule, kid.”

“But, Pops!” A.J. cried. “It’s not fair. Why should I have to wait until high school when everyone else is already dating now! I am so behind the curve on my social game, you know. If I was getting a grade for this, it’d be a D. Do you want me to fail, Pops? Is that your grand goal for my life?”

“Wow, very convincing.”

“Convincing enough?”

Crowley smirked. “Look, I have no qualms with it.”

“But…?”

“You gotta check with Aziraphale first.”

A.J. groaned. “Why do we have to even tell him? We could just lie.”

“We made an agreement,” Crowley explained. “Any major decisions about you guys has to be agreed upon by all of us.”

A.J. frowned, her eyes growing wide. “All of you?” she asked. 

Crowley blinked, then swallowed hard. “All of us,” he agreed.

“I’m doomed.”

Crowley grabbed her shoulders and led her out to the hall. “Look, I’m sure if I can get Aziraphale on board we can tag team Gabriel and take him down.”

“But you’re a wimp,” A.J. said as they went downstairs. 

“I resent that.”

“It’s true.” A.J. skipped into the kitchen, leaning against the back of the stool Oscar was sitting in. “When it comes to Dad you’re practically a puddle.” She nudged Oscar on the shoulder. “Ain’t that right, Oscar?”

Oscar gave Crowley a sympathetic look and nodded, rubbing his fingers together and pulling his hands apart. 

“See?” A.J. said. “Everyone knows it.”

“Well, we’ll just see about that,” Crowley said. He straightened his spine and waltzed right into Aziraphale’s study.

Aziraphale glanced over his shoulder as Crowley closed the door, but he said nothing. He was spending the day with a new, old book that had apparently been thought totally destroyed for centuries until the last remaining copy was miraculously found. It would be a task in itself just distracting him.

“Hey, Angel,” Crowley said, walking up behind him. He placed his hands on Aziraphale’s shoulders, rubbing them softly as he looked down at the book. 

“Darling,” Aziraphale greeted. Which was more than Crowley thought he would get. That was a good sign. 

Crowley leaned down and peppered Aziraphale’s cheek in little kisses. 

“Alright,” Aziraphale said with a huff. “What is it you want?”

“Just to shower my love with affection,” Crowley said.

“Mhm,” Aziraphale said. “I’m sure.”

“What?” Crowley moved his kisses lower, talking between each one. “Don’t believe me?”

“I know you, Darling.” Aziraphale placed a marker in his book and closed it. He pushed back and turned in his seat to look up at Crowley. “And right now, you want something.”

Crowley would be upset if it wasn’t so charming. “Alright, fine. Ya got me.” He knelt down and placed his chin on the arm of the chair. “Don’t you think the kids are old enough to see PG-13 movies?”

Aziraphale furrowed his eyebrow. “Did you really come in here to ask me if they could see a movie?” he asked. Crowley nodded. “Even though I know you let them watch that R rated movie last week?”

“You knew about that?” Crowley asked. Aziraphale gave him a look. Crowley sighed. “Alright, well, there might be something else.” 

He waited but Aziraphale didn’t say anything else. 

“A.J. wants to go on a date.” Like ripping off a band-aid.

“With a boy?”

“You know, I really don’t think we should judge her choice in potential romantic partners like that,” Crowley said. 

Aziraphale chuckled softly. Another good sign. “I still think she’s too young,” he said. And bad sign. 

“She’s twelve, almost thirteen,” Crowley argued. “Besides, everyone else is doing it.”

“Really, dear? That’s the argument you’re going for?”

Crowley shrugged. “It was a lot more convincing when she said it.”

Aziraphale sighed. “I don’t know. We did say not until High School. We really shouldn’t go back on that.”

Crowley leaned his head forward, pressing against Aziraphale’s arm. “She’s practically in High School.”

Aziraphale frowned, a few cute wrinkles forming around his lips. “Well, I suppose...if we were to meet this date of hers before hand...maybe if it was chaperoned.”

Crowley nodded. “I think that’s a good compromise. But uh...you know we gotta talk to...him.”

Aziraphale looked at Crowley confused. “Who?”

“Gabriel?” Crowley suggested. 

“Oh. Oh yes.” Aziraphale sighed. Then he shook his head and opened his book back up. “You can just tell her I said no.”

“Don’t be so defeatist,” Crowley said, standing back up. “I’m sure if you and I come at him with a logical argument, we can get him to agree.”

“Logic?” Aziraphale asked. “Gabriel?”

“I didn’t say realistic logic,” Crowley explained. Aziraphale gestured for him to continue. “A.J. gets to go on the date, and Gabriel gets to be the chaperone.”

“Yes, because there’s no way that can end badly.”

“It’s a win-win,” Crowley said. “Either everything goes really well and we’re all awesome parents, or it goes terrible and A.J. never dates again.”

Aziraphale laughed. “Well that’s a positive way to look at it. If he actually agrees.”

“I’m sure he will,” Crowley said. “How could he not?”

-

A.J. and Oscar sat on the couch, staring at the wall. 

“This is how my life ends, Oscar,” A.J. said. She sighed. “Good-bye cruel world!”

Oscar patted her hand sympathetically. Then he elbowed her in the side. When she managed to drag her attention to him, he told her he had a plan. 

“A plan?” she asked. He nodded. “What kind of plan?”

Oscar raised his hands but the door opened, interrupting his explanation. They looked over the back of the couch to where Gabriel was walking in. A.J. groaned. Oscar hopped off the couch and went to greet Gabriel, giving him a hug. A.J. just sunk into the couch, already planning her own funeral. 

“Hello, A.J.,” Gabriel greeted. She mumbled back. “You look...different.”

“It’s make-up,” A.J. grumbled. 

“Ah,” Gabriel said, nodding as if he understood what that was. 

There was a knock on the door and A.J. shrunk further into the cushions, a blush creeping over her face. “Ask not for whom the bell tolls,” she muttered. 

“Why is she being so morose?” Gabriel asked Oscar. Oscar shook his head. 

The door knocked again and A.J. groaned. “Better get it over with.” She shoved off the couch and slumped over to the door. She grimaced, took a deep breath, and opened the door. 

“Hey, Danny,” A.J. greeted. She leaned over and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Gabriel folded his hands before him, watching as A.J. led Danny into the house. He was a bit taller than her, and his pants still had crease lines from where they were folded. Right on time, Aziraphale and Crowley emerged from the study. 

“Danny?” Crowley asked. “You didn’t say it was Danny.”

“You never asked,” A.J. said with a shrug. 

“Hello, Danny,” Aziraphale said with a small smile. “It’s nice to see you again.” Crowley just squinted at him, which did not give Gabriel a good feeling. 

“Can we go now?” A.J. begged.

“Are we waiting for the others?” Gabriel asked. 

“Others?” asked Aziraphale as Crowley’s eyes snapped open in realization. 

“About that,” he said.

“What did you do?” Aziraphale asked. 

“I might have let Gabriel think this was more of a group thing,” Crowley said. Gabriel was starting to get the impression that this wasn’t a group thing. 

“You lied,” Aziraphale accused. 

A.J. groaned and hung her head. “Did I mention I was sorry?” she whispered to this Danny fellow. 

“I didn’t lie,” Crowley argued. “I just...omitted certain bits of information.”

“So if this is not a group thing,” Gabriel said, “What is it?”

“It’s a date!” A.J. said. “I’m going on a date! Can we all please just get over it and move _on_ already?”

“A date?” Gabriel asked. He looked at Crowley, betrayed. Then he looked at Aziraphale, more betrayed. When did dating even become a topic of conversation?

“He knows what a date is, doesn’t he?” A.J. asked. “Please tell me he at least knows what it is.”

“Of course I know what it is. What I don’t know is why you’re going on one,” Gabriel said. 

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell him, Crowley.” Aziraphale tutted. “You said you would.”

“If you need us, we’ll be outside.” A.J. grabbed Danny’s arm and started to drag him to the door. 

“No,” Gabriel said. “You aren’t going anywhere.”

“See?” Crowley said, gesturing to Gabriel. “That’s why I didn’t tell him.”

“And we should have had this conversation yesterday,” Aziraphale said. “So as to avoid exactly this.”

Oscar tugged on Gabriel’s arm and pointed to the open door, where A.J. and Danny had slipped away. 

“They aren’t going on a date,” Gabriel informed the others. 

“You’re right,” Crowley agreed. “They’re just two friends going to see a movie.”

“With you,” Aziraphale added. Oscar raised his hand. “And Oscar?” Oscar nodded.

“See?” Crowley shrugged. “Just a regular, friends going out outing.”

Gabriel furrowed his eyebrows. They were trying to confuse him. And it was working. “She said it was a date,” he offered.

“You know how kids can be,” Crowley said. He shrugged again. As if that was an explanation. 

Aziraphale stepped up to Gabriel, placing a hand on his arm. “Look, I’m very sorry that Crowley lied. As I’m sure he is.” Aziraphale glanced over his shoulder at said criminal. 

“Uh, yeah. Sure.”

Aziraphale rolled his eyes. “But we don’t have to make a big deal of this. I think it’s for the best you and Oscar just go with them and let them see the movie.”

“Yeah cause they’re going either way, apparently,” Crowley said. 

Oscar patted Gabriel’s back and gave him a thumbs up. Having Oscar there to help would make things easier. After all, Oscar was a sensible boy. More sensible than Aziraphale and Crowley, as it turned out. 

“I don’t like this,” Gabriel said. “Why is she dating?”

“That’s a conversation for a later time,” Aziraphale said. “Or an earlier time.” He threw another dark glance back at Crowley. 

“Either way not this time,” Crowley agreed. He rushed over, gently pushing Gabriel and Oscar towards the door. “Better get a move on.”

Gabriel tried to argue more, but with Crowley pushing him and Oscar pulling him, he was out of the house before he got the chance. Crowley sighed and leaned against the door. 

“That was a close one,” he said. Then he turned around. Aziraphale was glaring at him, arms crossed over his chest. “Out of the frying pan and into the oven.”

-

Walking to the movies had been a bit of a blessing. A.J. and Danny had managed to put enough distance between them and the house that by the time Gabriel and Oscar caught up they were nearly there. 

“So, Daniel,” Gabriel said, walking behind the three teens. “What is it you do?”

“Uh, I’m in the eighth grade?” Danny responded. 

“Father,” A.J. hissed. “This is not an interrogation.”

“It’s also not a date,” Gabriel assured her. 

“It’s not?” Danny asked.

“It is,” A.J. said. “Don’t mind him, Danny. He’s an idiot.”

Gabriel started to tell her that she couldn’t talk to him like that, but Oscar slowed down to fall into step with him, nudging him with a sharp elbow. Best to just let this one go.

The small group arrived at the theater. Danny and Oscar went off to get snacks while A.J. and Gabriel waited in line to get tickets.

“Please don’t ruin this,” A.J. pleaded. “I really like him, okay?”

“Ruin what?” Gabriel asked. “This is just two friends going to see a movie.”

A.J. huffed, crossing her arms. She wanted Gabriel to take her seriously as practically an adult, but maybe letting him think it wasn’t really a date was the best option she had. 

“So what movie are us friends seeing?” Gabriel asked. 

“Dramarama,” A.J. told him. “It looks dumb but everyone at school seems to like it.”

“Wouldn’t you rather go see a movie you’d like?” Gabriel asked.

A.J. scoffed. “You know nothing of the nuances of school social life.”

“Clearly.”

They inched closer to the counter. Gabriel scanned over the movie list on the board above them. “A.J., that movie you want to see is rated PG-13.”

“Thanks, Captain Obvious.” A.J. rolled her eyes. 

“You’re only 12,” Gabriel announced. “According to the chart, you’re too young for the movie.”

“It’s _PG_ -13,” A.J. said. “It stands for parental guidance. You are parent. This is guidance. It’s fine.”

“I’m not sure,” Gabriel said. “Perhaps we should see something else instead. Happy Little Birds looks appropriate.” Not only was it rated G, but he also remembered A.J. telling him about it a few weeks ago. 

“We can’t go to that,” A.J. said. “It’s for kids.”

“You said you wanted to see it,” Gabriel reminded her.

“I did not,” she hissed back. 

“But I remember you saying-”

“I did not!”

Gabriel nodded. “I see. My mistake.” He looked back at the board. “Well, it’s either that or Jumping Bunnies.”

“We’re going to see Dramarama,” A.J. insisted. “Dad and Pops said it was okay.”

They reached the counter. 

“Four tickets for Happy Little Birds, please,” Gabriel said, placing one of Crowley’s money cards down.

“Father,” A.J. groaned. “We can’t see that. It’s like social suicide!”

The ticket seller gave her a sympathetic smile, then handed Gabriel the tickets he had ordered. A.J. buried her face in her hands and considered running away and living as a hermit under a bridge. It would probably be a lot less trouble than having to face school on Monday. 

“That looks healthy,” Gabriel said, spying the pile of food and drinks Oscar and Danny were holding. 

“And delicious,” A.J. said, grabbing some from Danny. “Thanks.”

Gabriel dolled out the tickets and A.J. held her breath. Maybe Danny just wouldn’t notice.

“Happy Little Birds?” Danny asked. Of course he would notice. 

“I know right?” A.J. said, trying to play it cool. “Someone,” she glared up at Gabriel, “decided to change the plans on us.”

“This movie is more age-appropriate,” Gabriel explained. “Besides, A.J. was mentioning how-”

“-much I sure do like being embarrassed by my father in public,” A.J. finished for him. She grabbed Danny’s arm. “Like I said, don’t mind him.”

Oscar shrugged and followed them down to their theater room, Gabriel trailing behind, trying to catch up with whatever was going on. 

The theater was filled with other families, happily getting settled and ready to watch. “Oh look,” Gabriel said, pointing to the center of the room. “Four seats together, how perfect.”

And then, miraculously for A.J., two of the seats got filled. She winked at Oscar, who smiled back. 

“Guess we’ll just have to sit in separate rows,” A.J. said. “Oh well.”

“It does seem that way,” Gabriel said. Finally, something was going in her favor. “You and Oscar can sit up there. Daniel and I will be over here.”

Oscar dragged a hand over his face. His other hand grabbed Gabriel’s wrist and started pulling him away. 

“Oscar, what are you doing?” Gabriel asked, not really doing anything to stop himself being pulled to his seat. 

Oscar sat down and told him these seats had a better view. Gabriel settled down and watched as A.J. and Danny settled down a few rows below them. “Ah yes,” he said. “I see what you mean.”

Oscar smiled and shoved a handful of popcorn in his mouth. 

“Are you sure you should be eating that?” Gabriel asked. “It doesn’t look very healthy.” He picked out a piece of the corn and studied it. 

Oscar nodded and shoved more in his mouth. Gabriel hummed and gingerly placed the piece in his own mouth. His eyebrows raised as the outer layer seemed to melt a bit. He shivered with the crunch as he chewed. 

“I suppose it’s okay,” Gabriel said. 

The lights started to dim and Gabriel turned his attention back to A.J. and Danny, staring at them, unblinking.

-

“Sorry again,” A.J. said, relaxing a bit now that they were alone. “My father can be kind of an insufferable presence.”

Danny laughed. “It’s okay. Parents can be like that.”

“Yeah,” A.J. said. “But most people only have two to deal with.”

Danny glanced over his shoulder and grimaced, noticing how Gabriel was staring intently at them. He shifted in his seat. “Hey, I’ve got a plan.”

“Oh?” A.J. looked back up at Gabriel and Oscar, giving Gabriel her best scowl (and she’s been practicing). 

“We cause a distraction,” Danny suggested. “And then sneak out and go see a real movie.”

A.J. looked at the screen. She _had_ wanted to see this movie. But she really couldn’t go around letting anyone know that. “What kind of distraction did you have in mind?”

-

In retrospect, A.J. should have known it would never work. Sure, the popcorn explosion she had miracled up was enough to distract Gabriel so she and Danny could sneak out. But they hadn’t exactly planned for what came after, which, as it turned out, was Gabriel catching on to the fact that they weren’t there anymore. 

A.J. could feel him looking for her as she and Danny crept into the theater for Dramarama. She grabbed Danny’s arm, pulling him to a stop before they could reach the seats. “Look, maybe this is a bad idea,” she said. “Let’s just go back before we get in trouble.”

“What are you so worried about?” Danny asked. He shook her off. “We’re gonna be fine.”

“I’m serious,” A.J. hissed. Gabriel had found her, and would be on the way soon. If they hurried back, they could make up a good excuse. “My father might actually kill you.”

“No he won’t.” Danny laughed. “Now c’mon, we’ll miss the movie.” He squinted at her. “You do want to see the movie, don’t you?”

“Of course,” A.J. lied. “I just also value my life.”

And the end of her life came in the form of Gabriel, walking up to them. “A.J., there you are.”

“If you run now you can still make it out of here alive,” she whispered to Danny.

“What are you doing here?” Gabriel asked. “You’re not allowed to see this movie.”

“You can’t tell me what to do,” A.J. said. 

“It’s my job to tell you what to do,” Gabriel countered. 

“Well you can’t tell me,” Danny said. “So I’m gonna cut out.” He walked back out to the hall.

“Danny, wait!” A.J. called, chasing after him. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going home,” Danny told her. “I wanted to watch a movie about drama, not live through one.”

A.J.’s body deflated and she didn’t even move when Gabriel and Oscar appeared next to her. “You ruined everything,” she mumbled.

“You knew you weren’t allowed to see that movie,” Gabriel told her. 

“Yes I was! Dad and Pops said I could go!”

“And I said you couldn’t.”

A.J. rolled her eyes and shrugged. “So what?”

“So you broke the rules and you’re...grounded,” Gabriel decided.

“Grounded?” A.J. asked.

Gabriel nodded. He had heard Aziraphale and Crowley do that before. It seemed to fit. “Yes, grounded.”

“You can’t ground me!”

Gabriel didn’t know if that was true. But he couldn’t back down now. “Yes I can.”

“No you can’t!”

“Yes, I can.”

“No. You. Can’t.”

“Yes I-”

“Oh just shut-up already!” A.J. growled and walked outside. 

Gabriel and Oscar chased after her. “You can’t speak to me like that,” Gabriel told her.

“Really?” A.J. spun around, hands on her hips. “Cause I think I just did.”

“Well, you’re grounded again,” Gabriel informed her. 

“Ground me all you want, it doesn’t mean anything! Dad and Pops will just un-ground me.”

“They can’t do that,” Gabriel said. At least, he was pretty sure they couldn’t. He really didn’t know.

A.J. crossed her arms, her face formed in a deep scowl. She really was Crowley’s daughter. “They can do whatever they want because they actually know things.”

“So if they had been here you’d let them ground you?” Gabriel asked. 

“They wouldn’t have had to. Dad and Pops would let me see the movie,” A.J. said, starting to pace up and down the street. “And they wouldn’t have tried to sit next to us. And they wouldn’t ask an eighth grader what he did for a living.”

Gabriel nodded. “I know.”

“Then why do you keep doing this shit? If they say it’s okay why can’t it just be okay?”

“I suppose…” Gabriel took a deep breath. “I suppose I just don’t have all of the details. Crowley didn’t exactly tell me all that was going on.”

“Well then take it out on him, not me!”

Gabriel reached out to touch her shoulder, but stopped, pulling his hand back. “I wasn’t trying to take anything out on you. I simply wanted to keep you safe.”

“From what? What’s dangerous about a movie?”

“I’m not sure. But I figure those ratings are there for a reason. They would know.”

A.J. sighed, rolling her head back. “They don’t know. _You_ don’t know. You can’t make a decision on something you don’t understand!”

“You’re right.”

A.J. stopped pacing, turning to face him with a furrowed brow. “I’m sorry? What did you just say?”

Gabriel closed his eyes briefly, steeling himself. “I said you are right. I don’t know much about anything you and Oscar are going through.”

“Then why on Earth do you go around acting like you have any sort of authority on the matter?” A.J. placed her hands on her hips. 

“I don’t like not knowing things,” Gabriel admitted. 

“So you just act like you do?”

“Yes.”

A.J. sighed, hanging her head a bit. “Look, I get that. No one likes not knowing things. But you can’t use that as an excuse to…” she gestured about, “...ruin things.”

“I don’t mean to ruin things.”

“I know.” A.J. sat down on the curb and, after a slight moment of scrutiny devoted to the sidewalk, Gabriel sat next to her. “But you do ruin things.”

Gabriel could only muster a nod. He looked over when he felt A.J.’s hand on his own.

“I know you’re trying your best,” she said. “But your best is kind of sucky.”

Something about the way she said that made Gabriel chuckle. “It is, isn’t it?”

A.J. squinted at him. “You’re admitting I’m right, and saying that you suck? Who are you and what have you done with my father?”

Gabriel smiled at her. “I guess being your father sure has had a bigger impact on me than I thought.”

A.J. smiled back at him. “I know I don’t exactly have a good track record,” she said, “but do you think maybe in the future you can trust when I’m telling you the truth about things like this?”

“I think I can work on that,” Gabriel agreed. “If you promise to not try to swindle me into having ice cream for dinner again.”

A.J. laughed. “C’mon, I’m not four anymore. I have a little more self-control.”

Gabriel looked down at his watch. “We still have time,” he told her. “Do you really want to go see that movie? I’ll provide the guidance.”

“So I’m not grounded?” A.J. asked, hopeful. 

“Oh, yes. That.” Gabriel frowned. “I guess, you can’t see movies when you’re grounded, right?” Gabriel didn’t know what grounded actually meant. 

“Well…” A.J. smirked. “You know, I’m not technically grounded until I know how long I’m grounded for.”

“I don’t know how long it should be,” Gabriel said.

“Guess we’ll just have to wait and ask Dad, huh?”

“I guess so.”

“And since we’re already here….might as well go back in and see Happy Little Birds?”

“I think we could do that.”

-

There was a fine line between the cold shoulder and affection, and Aziraphale was a master at walking it. Affection was curled up on the couch, wrapped around each other, kissing every now and then. The cold shoulder looked a lot like Aziraphale ignoring Crowley, even when he was laying on him. 

Where they were now was Crowley with his head in Aziraphale’s lap, a hand in his hair, and no words spoken. It was a strange land and Crowley did not like being in it.

“They’re late,” Crowley announced. 

Aziraphale just hummed in response.

“We should be worried.”

Aziraphale didn’t even hum that time.

Crowley sighed and turned on his side, leaning up a bit and wrapping his arms around Aziraphale’s waist. “How many times do I gotta apologize until you forgive me, Angel?”

Aziraphale bit his lip, looking up from his book in consideration. “At least once more.”

“I’m sorry,” Crowley repeated for what must have been the eightieth time that night. “I should have just told him the truth.”

“Yes, you should have.” Aziraphale tsked and closed his book. “I mean, really, darling. What did you think was going to happen?”

“I don’t know. I just wanted A.J. to go.” Crowley shrugged. “Ask for forgiveness not permission, right?”

“Crowley,” Aziraphale chided. “When are you going to learn that never works?”

“It worked once or twice,” Crowley argued.

Aziraphale sighed and placed a hand on Crowley’s cheek. “You should give Gabriel more credit, dear. He might start to surprise you.”

“Ehhh,” Crowley said, pushing up against Aziraphale. “Do I gotta?”

Aziraphale chuckled and leaned over to kiss Crowley on the top of his head. “If you want to stop ending up in situations like this, yes.”

“I dunno. Situations like this make life interesting. What kind of excitement would we have if we communicated everything perfectly?”

“Oh, I’m sure we can find other ways to keep things fun.”

Crowley smirked and dragged Aziraphale down for those kisses he was way overdue. Then the door opened. 

“Hello, dears,” Aziraphale greeted, pushing Crowley and himself up. “How was the movie?”

Oscar told them it was really good. Gabriel looked over at A.J., who hung her head.

“Looks like it went well to me,” Crowley commented. 

“What happened?” Aziraphale asked. 

A.J. took a deep breath and looked up at Gabriel. His face was stoic. “I’m grounded,” A.J. mumbled.

“You are?” Crowley asked. He glanced at Aziraphale. “She is?” Aziraphale shrugged. 

“Yes,” Gabriel said. “She is.” His face wavered a bit. He leaned closer and lowered his voice. “I’m just not sure how long.”

“What’s she in for?” Crowley asked. 

Oscar raised his hands, devilish smile on his face. A.J. rolled her eyes at him and swatted them away. “Let’s keep this short and sweet people. I snuck out of the _G_ rated movie that Father made us go see to sneak into the movie I was _supposed_ to see.”

“Apple does not fall far from the tree,” Aziraphale mumbled.

“And?” Gabriel prompted. 

“Aaaand I might have been just a _little_ bit of a bitch,” she added. 

"Language," Aziraphale warned her.

“Not far at all,” Crowley agreed. 

“Well," Aziraphale looked between the two of them. "Is everything alright?”

“We worked it out,” A.J. said. 

“But she’s still grounded,” Gabriel insisted. 

Aziraphale nodded, placing a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder. “How does a week sound?” 

“Harsh,” A.J. said. He gave her a look. “But fair.”

“Alright, hooligans dismissed,” Aziraphale said. 

A.J. slumped away, Crowley trailing after her as she headed upstairs. 

“So, how’d the date part go?” Crowley asked. 

“Not,” A.J. told him.

“Was it the big head down there?”

A.J. laughed and led Crowley to her room. “No. It was big dumb boy five streets over.” She sat on her bed, falling back dramatically.

“Sorry, kid.” Crowley sat down and patted her knee. “Boys are dumb.”

“They sure are.” She huffed. “Well, you all can relax. I’m not eager to be going on a date again any time soon.”

Crowley laid down next to her. “Hey, I was rooting for you.” He nudged her softly. “And don’t let one dumb boy ruin the bunch, okay?”

“Pops,” A.J. turned on her side. “How did you all meet? I mean. I guess you guys knew each other in heaven and stuff. But how did you get together?”

“It’s a very long, complicated story involving the Antichrist, an old book, and a lot of alcohol.”

“Great.” A.J. rolled her eyes. “So I’m never going to find a guy.”

Crowley chuckled. “I’d say we’re a special case. You’ll have an easier time of it.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“I’m positive. I raised one cool kid, the guys won’t be able to stay away.” He thought about it for a second. “I oughta polish my bat collection…”

A.J. laughed and leaned her head over on Crowley’s shoulder. “Thanks Pops. You’re one cool parent.”

Crowley shifted his arm to wrap around A.J.’s shoulders. “What can I say? I drew the long straw.”

-

“Are you sure you can’t stay the night?” Aziraphale asked, holding Gabriel’s jacket hostage. 

Gabriel smiled. “I’m positive. But I’ll see about maybe finding some time next week.”

“How gracious of you,” Crowley said with a laugh.

Aziraphale relented, giving up Gabriel’s coat. “Before you go, I just wanted to say something.”

Gabriel shrugged his coat on and studied Aziraphale. “Something good I hope.”

Aziraphale nodded. “I’m very proud of you, dear.”

“ _We’re_ proud,” Crowley said, wrapping his arms around Aziraphale and resting his chin on his shoulder. 

“Oh.” Gabriel thought over the last few work-related stories he had told them, trying to suss out which ones would have impressed them. “Thank you.”

Aziraphale chuckled. “To be more specific, we’re proud of how you handled things tonight.”

“You are?” Gabriel wasn’t to proud of how everything went down, but Aziraphale and Crowley knew more than he did about these things. 

“Of course, dear.”

“But I ruined A.J.’s night and got into a fight with her.”

“But ya fixed it,” Crowley pointed out. 

Aziraphale nodded. “You did. You managed it all on your own. Without any help from us.”

“I...did,” Gabriel realized. He smiled, his chest swelling. “But I have to admit, it wasn’t without help. I’ve learned a lot from both of you over the years. Without your guidance, I’m sure it wouldn’t have gone so well.”

They both smiled. “It’s been a wonderful time, hasn’t it?” Aziraphale asked. 

Crowley nodded. “All three of our kids have really grown up.”

Gabriel furrowed his eyebrows. “You have a third kid?”

Aziraphale laughed and took Gabriel’s hand. “Don’t worry about it,” he said, kissing his cheek. “Have a good time at work. And do hurry back.”

“I will.” Gabriel kissed him back, then shared a kiss with Crowley. He thought about the concept of a third kid. It wasn’t nearly as terrifying as the idea of the first two.

**Author's Note:**

> Me: What if I _did_ give them a third kid  
> Also me: The title of the series would be null and void and six's a family isn't alliterative


End file.
